I haven’t posted in a while and there’s a good reason. This is a touchy subject in certain circles as was proven by that Chaser song last year (which for the most part things that were said were true). When I heard about Mark Priestley’s suicide and then the media shitstorm that followed I was reminded of the Heath Ledger incident.
Well it’s been a month now so I feel it’s safe to vent my spleen so to speak. Why is it whenever a celebrity dies no matter what they have done in the past (drugs, adultery, animal cruelty or violence) they are deemed the greatest person in existence. Take Heath Ledger before his death the media hated him, mostly because of that whole water pistol paparazzi incident and labelled him a bad boy or scoundrel but once his dead he’s apparently the greatest actor of all time, please if hadn’t have done Brokeback Mountain and Batman he’d be remembered as that kid from 10 things I hate about you(and still be considered great and misunderstood). This Mark Priestly dude I’m not familiar with his work because I’d rather drive hot needles into my scrotum than watch All Saints. So I looked him up for a majority of his career playing bit parts maybe he was great at them but being great as an extra is like winning gold at the Paralympics yes you’ve done good but nobody really cares.
Another Australian who died Steve Irwin was chastised by everyone while alive for animal cruelty, his movie bombed and he made the world think that all those who come from the land down under enjoy taunting reptiles in their spare time. He gets stuck by a stingray (the animal world got vengeance and celebrated that day) and suddenly he wasn’t dick he was a wildlife warrior, apparently he’s movie was the greatest Australian movie since Madmax. Then Germaine Greer comes out and says what we were all saying for years before his death and gets chastised for once in my life I felt sorry for the steely old bird.
As a catholic I have pretty good grasp on the inner workings of the bible, so it irritates me when a celebrity buys the farm that apparently they can get into heaven regardless of the rules as if their status on Earth gives them preferential treatment. My understanding of heaven and the rules of entry are that it’s a tad more exclusive than the old no shoes no shirt no entry rule. All that said here’s a short list of celebs that people say in heaven but are really in hell and the reasons why.
– JFK; Adultery is a sin people and Kennedy was a skirt chaser
-Marilyn Monro; Look I’m actually not too sure about this, it was ruled a probable suicide which is a big no no
-Kurt Cobain; Suicide
– Heath Ledger; Homosexuality, granted he wasn’t actually gay but God kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden for eating fruit I don’t think he would care if homosexuality was real or fiction
– Mark Priestley; Suicide
This list does rest upon God’s actual existence, that said no god no heaven so I win anyway. And this judgemental list isn’t to say I’m a perfect catholic (considering I’ve been using the 10 commandments as personal checklist of achievements, 2 to go) I’m well aware I would be going to hell.
I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead (yes I do) but just because someone is dead doesn’t mean their slate is clean and all truths about their past are irrelevant, that’s the point I’m trying to get across.
Well until next time to my only reader I bid thee farewell and may all your days be Bully
Scrawlings of a Madman 