Your Mom Made Meatloaf Even Though I Don’t Eat Meat(why Rivers Cuomo needs to grow a pair)
That title may be a tad unfair but I want to keep my theme of using song lyrics as titles and the only one I could think of that alluded to vegetarianism was that weezer song, I like weezer I really do and I have no beef with River Cuomo I just needed to have a punchy title so from the start I will say sorry Rivers Cuomo, now that’s over with on with the blog.
Now while I have no beef with Rivers what I do have beef with vegetarians(pun fully intended) to be more specific militant vegetarians or even worse vegans. You all know the type they feel obligated to inform you that the delicious hamburger your wolfing down came from a cow and was probably treated poorly before getting a spike to the head, my usual argument is good I’d feel a whole lot worse if they treated it like royalty before serving it up to me because well I can’t explain it I just would.
the worse kind are the ill-informed militant vegan/vegetarians and this is where i hit anecdote territory once i was sitting at hungry jacks clogging my arteries with the awesome quad stack when some dude came up to me and started to lecture me on the evils of my carnivorous activity (what he was doing at a fast food chain known for its flame grilled burgers I’ll never know probably there to build his daily quota of douchebaggery), now usually I’d just ignore people like this because quite frankly I can but this day was different, this day I wanted my say. Fortunately I know a fair bit more than I’d like about what happens to the various parts of the bovine that aren’t delicious meat and I noticed that he had a mars bar in his hand(it may have been a kit kat I don’t quite remember all I know is that it was one of those chocolate bars that say halal on the wrapper) so I decided to drop a knowledge bomb on this particular fucktard and asked him if he knew why the chocolate bar he was eating had the words halal on it he said he didn’t know then i asked him if he knew what gelatine was he replied something about sugar crystals and magic to which I responded after a particularly satisfying bite of my burger “hooves” he gave me a weird look as if I’d just said the word for no apparent reason so I elaborated that hooves and sometimes bits of bone are used in gelatine he looked disgusted then I realised something I now have the moral high ground i went on to say “how dare you judge me when you are wasteful you only use on small and specific part of the animal where as I wear the leather, I eat the flesh and I eat the hooves(on some occasions I glue with it) you sir are a wasteful monster” the young man was dumbfounded and backed away slowly as I stared him down with a judging stare I pulled out my cigarette and lit up a victory smoke to which I was promptly kicked out of the outside dining area of the establishment I smiled and said thank you and walked off happy in the knowledge that I just blew someone’s mind to the point he may reevaluate his belief system.
Wow that was a Long anecdote and I think I may have forgotten what my point was, oh right it’s the same point I’ve made before don’t try to change my mind about things don’t tell me to stop smoking, don’t take my beer away and for fuck sake don’t get between me and my meat in all three circumstances you are likely to get bitten(not metaphorically i will go for flesh) just leave people be if i want to feast on the flesh of a lower animal it’s my business so fuck off and go to your PETA(by the way I don’t mind if women decide to get naked to try to prove a point, I mean it wont change my mind but i do like to look at it).
Ok that’s it I’m having a sugar crash J out
